“Just pretend you’re on Blue Crush,” Alysha screamed as we painstakingly swam toward the waves. “Isn’t that the movie where a shark bites her leg off?” I hollered back, as a wave crashed into my face. The wet suit laid heavy on my back like a weighted blanket, making it difficult to stroke against the current. I couldn’t believe I was on a surf board on the edge of the Pacific. I’m terrified of murky ocean water. If a shark is going to take a taste of my leg or a jellyfish is going slide across my arm, I want to at least know what’s coming . I’ve never liked surprises. But for the first time, my fear didn’t stay long, and I swam with courage and determination. After all, I was trying to channel Kate Bosworth.
Finally mustering the strength to turn my board, I tried to catch my first wave. I swam with it and felt the push that Alysha told me I would feel when it was time to stand. The strength of the wave flipped me over and took me under. I didn’t panic. I didn’t fight it. I just let it happen. Coming up for breath, I quickly hopped back on my board. The only way I was going back to shore was if I was on top of a wave. With throbbing arms, I stroked my way back to where the waves began to form.
Waiting for the next wave, I took advantage of the calm water. I laid flat on my stomach like a sea lion basking in the sun. I definitely regretted the blueberry scone I inhaled just an hour before. Then I looked up and it was time. The white cap was coming toward me. I maneuvered the board to face the shore, with my eyes staying on the wave. I swam. I felt the push. This was it! I managed to pop up on my knees. I stayed there, knowing that I would miss the opportunity to truly ride this wave if I pushed myself beyond my limit. Plus, we crawl before we walk, right?
The wind threw salt water into my eyes as it rushed over my face and through my hair. It was exhilarating. I was doing it. I didn’t let go until the wave let me go safely onto shore. I stepped off the board onto the sand, wiped the water from my eyes, and took a deep breath. I did something I never thought I would do or could do. For the first time in a long time, my fear sat down and my courage brought me to my knees.
As I sat on the shore, exhausted and knowing that I may not be able to lift a margarita later, I looked out at the ocean and thanked it for allowing me to play. I thanked the waves for not crushing my body after I finally found my courage. I thanked myself for trusting myself and not panicking when I went under. My aching body reminds me that I am no Kate Bosworth, but I bought a swimsuit for surfing to motivate me to learn. If anything, the swimsuit will be a reminder that I can do hard things. Plus, it sucks in the margarita bloat.